Matron vs Maid Of Honor – Roles And Responsibilities

Once you pull the trigger on your wedding planning, you’ll find you have lots of decisions to make – including choosing the people who will be part of your wedding party. As the bride, you will probably want your squad around you and, in this article, we’re untangling the roles and responsibilities of a Matron vs a Maid of Honor. 

What is a wedding party?

This is the term used to describe the important people who will play a role on your big day, not some kind of party that needs to be done (but if you want to throw one, check out our guide to planning a wedding shower). This can include: 

  • Bride and groom
  • Bridesmaids
  • Best man
  • Groomsmen
  • Maid / Matron of Honor
  • Paige boys
  • Flower girls

During the wedding planning, these people will usually be given specific tasks as well as jobs to be completed on the day. 

Matron vs Maid of Honor

When looking at wedding party planning, many people are confused about the difference between a Maid of Honor and a Matron of Honor so we’re going to be untangling this in this section: 

Matron of Honor

A Matron of Honor is the bride’s main ‘helper’ during the planning and on the actual wedding day. Also sometimes known as Chief Bridesmaid, the title Matron of Honor is given to a female who is, herself, already married. 

Maid of honor

A Maid of Honor performs the exact same tasks as a Matron of Honor but this title is given to a lady who has not yet been married. 

Roles and responsibilities

Whether you choose a Matron vs a Maid of Honor, the duties are pretty much the same and we’re going to explain some of these here: 

Support

As soon as the Maid / Matron of Honor is chosen, she will be expected to support the bride in all things wedding. The level of involvement should be decided between the bride and MOH at the beginning to avoid any misunderstandings but, as a rule, the MOH will be on hand to support the bride – including listening to her vent when things aren’t going right. 

Shopping

For the bride, one of the most important – and most exciting – parts of the wedding planning is choosing her wedding dress and this is a process which can take a significant amount of time and effort. 

The MOH should be prepared to help the bride shop for her wedding dress (and the bridesmaid and MOH dresses and should be willing to commit a reasonable amount of time to this. In some cases, the MOH will help to make appointments at bridal boutiques and will organise lunches and drinks to make these important shopping days more special. 

Point of contact

During the wedding planning, the bride and groom to be will usually have a huge amount of work to do as they navigate booking a venue, registering their wedding and choosing their wedding decor. Because of this, it’s helpful for the MOH to volunteer to become the point of contact for the bridal party and the wedding guests in the run up to the big day in order to take a little of the stress off the happy (and stressed) couple. 

Plan the hen do

Whether it’s a whole weekend in Ibiza or a simple dinner and drinks, most brides choose to have a hen party (also known as a bachelorette party) ahead of their wedding and it’s usually the job of the MOH to orchestrate this. Tasks involved with hen do planning might include: 

  • Invitations
  • Wedding signs
  • Liaison with the hens
  • Choosing and booking venues
  • Choosing and booking activities
  • Coordinating payment from the hens
  • General organisation and coordination

This may be one of the toughest of the MOH’s jobs (and usually the most stressful) as she will often be dealing with conflicting ideas and requests from the hens as well as having the unpleasant job of chasing anybody who has not yet paid their share. This task therefore requires a degree of diplomacy as well as organisational skills.

Conflict mediation

A wedding is a big deal and emotions can often run high – particularly when people are being told what to wear, how to have their hair and what to do (and not to do). Another important role for the Matron / Maid of Honor is, therefore, that of peacekeeper. Where possible, during this important planning process, the bride should not have to deal with petty squabbles and stubbornness and so the MOH should be prepared to take on this responsibility. 

Getting ready

In the hours before the wedding ceremony, the bride and her bridesmaids and MOH will usually be busy getting ready. This will usually involve several women in one space, along with a hair and make-up artist (and usually a glass of champagne or two). As you can imagine, without direction this can easily descend into chaos and so it’s the job of the MOH to take control at this time to ensure that everybody knows what they should be doing – and when they should be doing it. 

Giving a speech

While not obligatory (and this should, obviously, be discussed with the bride), the MOH will often give a speech at the wedding reception. It must be stressed that the MOH should not feel pressured into doing so if it’s not something she’s comfortable with as this can lead to awkwardness and resentment. If, however, the MOH does decide to make a speech it should be well thought out and include glowing praise for the bride as well as a touch of humour. In order to avoid any uncomfortable surprises, it’s always a good idea to run the speech by the bride beforehand. 

An Honor and a privilege

As we’ve illustrated in this article, the role of Matron / Maid of Honor involves a lot of work and organisation – but it’s also a lot of fun. In this important role, communication is key when it comes to making sure that everybody is on the same page and so the MOH should be prepared to be in regular contact with the bride throughout the entire wedding planning process.